How to Support Your Partner When You’re Hurting Too?

Being supportive to your partner during a crisis, even if you are hurting, is a norm in most average relationships, and the recent way of life isn’t far from average. A lot of stressors, including the raging pandemic that led to job losses, lost family members and friends, have subjected many people to intense pain. This makes it challenging to satisfy your partner’s needs while balancing your own overwhelming feelings. While there are no easy answers on how to be supportive, the following tips might be helpful.

Normalize Non-Demand Affection

Showing on-demand affection is our first tip on how to be supportive in a relationship. Anybody overwhelmed by stress needs a lot of reassurance, especially coming from their partner’s touch. Unfortunately, most couples are reluctant to ask for or offer physical affection because they worry that the other partner may take it as an invitation for a bed. While there is nothing wrong with being attractive to your partner, they can get better with a hug or cuddle without taking the pressure of going further.

Engage in Stress-reducing Conversations

If you need an effective way on how to be supportive when your partner is stressed, try your luck with stress-reducing conversations. Some studies done a decade ago concluded that couples who stay close and are supportive to each other over time could listen to each other’s stressors better.

However, you don’t need to have lived with your partner for long to be supportive in this way; you can try with your recent soulmate from the Dating Rating. For this, try engaging in 30 or more minute’s conversations. Spend at least half of this time sharing your feelings and the other half listening to your partner.

Note that this isn’t the right time to discuss issues that can anger or upset your partner. The right way of how to be a supportive partner is to offer a lot of empathy and understanding instead of solving problems. To make this supportive idea effective, intentionally set time every day to listen to one another. Studies show that couples that listen to each other grow close to each other over time, trust, and become supportive when there’s pain.

Find Possible Triggers

Most current problems awaken feelings from past negative experiences, exacerbating the hurt further. Therefore, while it is not the only way of how to be supportive of someone with depression, it is good to find out about their triggers. Interestingly, you might be supportive through most triggers of issues in your relationship, such as financial challenges.

Repair the Cause of Damage

Identifying and working towards repairing the cause of damage is the best way on how to be supportive of someone with anxiety or other common relationship problems. Your partner may be hurting because of some negative experience, what you did or failed to do, which is common for most relationships.

Regardless of the cause, it is supportive and helps if you find the courage and ask your partner if your actions are the reason why they are hurt. Also, if your partner opens up and approaches you with what’s hurting them, be supportive and listen without being overly defensive. This might be hard but keep in mind that repairing the negative experiences is crucial for a positive relationship.


Being supportive to your partner at all times is important if you truly care for and love your partner. However, several challenges can impede your supportive acts. For instance, you can’t be supportive enough to someone who is miles away. Regardless, devise various ways that can keep your relationship warm.

That said, which other way can someone be supportive to their partners while hurting? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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